Living with BPD, and slowly starting to understand it, is a little sad and lonely for me. I used to have so many friends and acquaintances, so many people to talk to. I guess taking myself off social media, and not doing my part as a "friend" by reaching out, is on me too. Friendships have just become exhausting. I still have people I can talk to if I need to, but I've gotten used to being alone lately.
I also have this tendency to cut people off the second we get into a small disagreement. I've had those friendships with girls where we take a break, reconnect, and do the same dance all over again. I sometimes miss those times together, and I thought it was genuine at the time — but my black-and-white thinking sure doesn't help. I'd love to find a middle ground sometimes, and still keep people around even when we disagree, or when something small could be fixed with a simple apology...