This week is sort of a big deal — I was referred to a DBT class. Tomorrow I go in for a three-hour interview to see if I'm a good fit. After checking every box for Borderline Personality Disorder, I want to do what it takes to manage my emotions. It's crazy because I can feel that crazy brewing inside me. I know what I'm thinking isn't always true, yet I'm stuck on stupid trying to make it true. It's not fun.
I just went through an episode last weekend. I have contact with my current boyfriend daily. There are times he needs a break, and I know I have to give him space after I've snapped. But this time was different. I saw him earlier that day, and afterward he was doing a side job — I was expecting to hear from him once he was done, like usual. As the night went on, I didn't hear anything. I sent messages, called — no response. I couldn't sit at home by myself, so I went out to the bar with a girlfriend to take my mind off it. It irritated me the entire night. I was expecting some response, but I didn't hear from him until late the next morning...